Trying is not Doing

In teaching tennis full time, I realize there is a parallel between teaching someone to give effort versus trying. The people who would excel in life, in business, and in tennis always give 100% effort. Telling them to "try their best" would be an insult since that goes without saying. In addition, successful people actually know the distinction between effort and trying. There is an expression or quote that John, a friend of mine said, which is, "Do or do not, try and you will not." For example, there is a difference when someone says "Lift the hammer or try to lift the hammer." If you say "lift the hammer," the person will lift the hammer. If you say "don't, lift the hammer" the person won't lift the hammer; but if you tell someone to "try to lift the hammer," nothing will happen because if you try to lift the hammer, "try" is the action right before the lifting, the stored energy or ability to lift, which is really no action. So if you say, "try to hit the ball, try to get to work on time, try to swing the baseball bat, try to make a good presentation," all of those are really doing nothing.

So I am making a conscious effort to work on my phraseology when coaching tennis players. Tell them to give 100% effort at all times and to decide whether to do something or don't do something but not to be in the middle of the road with trying, because trying really doesn't mean anything.

Now, when I try, the only way that I try is if I want to lower someone else's expectations on what I do if I want to surprise him or her. For example, a friend of mine asked me to see her speak; but I knew I was going to attend, so I just want to surprise her, so I downplayed the fact that I was actually planning on being there to support her. In that context, trying is okay, in my opinion. But when you coach yourself in your mind to try something, you really want to say that you're going to do it. For example, Tiger Woods and Roger Federer, the No. 1 golfer in the world and the No. 1 tennis player in the world respectively, say to themselves, "I'm going to win the tournament," and then they win the tournament. They have a better chance of winning than if they say to themselves, "I'm going to try to win the tournament," and the same with everything we do in life.

One time I was telling a student while teaching tennis, "Don't try so much, you're trying too hard and nothing is happening," so he gave little effort as a result. With that I said, "No. I mean, give 100% effort, but don't continue to consciously try." I meant continue to give 100% effort rather than trying too hard.

According to Timothy Gallwey in his book, The Inner Game of Tennis, he said that he needs to try less and than just let it happen, "Don't try, let it happen"; and that's really what you want to do in life. Just let things happen and it will be easy. The same for relationships, for example, just let them happen and they seem easy. To try too hard in a relationship that is not meant to be is futile. And there is the expression, you don't have to really work harder but work smarter. It's the same type of thing. Being smart is letting it happen; you know how to do something, so let your mind direct your body to do it the way you've done it in the past and you will succeed.

So ultimately, in order to understand this concept of trying or not trying, what you want to do is you want to learn the distinction between effort and trying. And we don't mean try as in sampling, for example, trying an ice cream flavor, that's not the same concept as giving effort. We mean trying as far as it relates to effort, like doing. So remember the quote, "Do or do not, try and you will not" and you will be well on your way to achieving your goals in athletics, business, academics and life.