The Dilemma: Success and winning – Winning is not everything

What is it about winning and losing?

You can’t control the outcome of any competition – you can only control the process; how you play and how you conduct yourself. Winning is a by product of playing well and demonstrating sportsmanship (or winning the “attitude battle” my brother and I say). The funny thing is that people say to themselves or their teammates “just win this one” or “let’s win” or let’s take this.” However, in essence you are coaching yourselves on something that you ultimately can influence but can’t control.

Case in point is the doubles tennis match I just played with my brother Ettore this evening. It was the finals of a men’s open tennis match. Not only were we up 6-4, 4-2 and ended up losing 4-6, 7-6 (10-8), 7-6 (7-5) but we had about 10 match points throughout the contest.

Yet I have a feeling of being numb. I would have been surprised if we won but even more surprised if we lost considering the circumstances. We were literally diving all over the court, fist pumping and chest bumping like usual – which is why we have been called The Flyin’ Rossetti Brothers.

We even had on our matching Italian World Cup uniforms straight from Italy to commemorate Italy’s World Cup win and our heritage. The chemistry was there and so were the fans. I would say about 15-20 people came out to see us play and a bunch lasted the full 3 hours.

But bigger picture I feel at peace knowing that I am doing what I want to be doing with the people whom I want to be doing it with. Another words, as Agassi said in his last match, “The scoreboard said I lost today, but what the scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found.” And I really feel the same way. To our opponents credit all of the match points were winners and not unforced errors, making for an epic, high quality match reminiscent of the Bryan Brother’s winning the Australian Open in 2006.

It was quite an amazing match to be a part of - I am just glad to have the support of so many friends, be able to be a role model and coach, have the support of my family and above all play with someone I truly respect and love - my identical twin brother Ettore.

Although we all tend to replay the key points of a match in our heads a thousand times in hopes that it may change the outcome, I am beginning to realize that you can only play well and with integrity to put yourself in a position to win a match but the actual winning depends on both teams and not just you.

With that said, at one point this evening I told my brother “let’s just relax and play solid points….and from there good things should happen.” Good things did happen as we fought ‘til the very end, coming back from 6-5 down in the second set to bring it to a tie break and down 2-0 in the third set to go up 5-4 to almost close out the match, all after dwindling a large lead.

Bigger things are at stake than winning though: as a winner can be defined in many ways.

One definition of winning is succeeding with great difficulty; "winning is not everything"

After the Bryan Brothers won the Master's Cup in Shanghai in 2005 for the 3rd year in a row the ATP Chairman was quoted as saying:

"This could not happen to a more deserving pair. They represent all we seek in great sportsmen: they are talented, dedicated and passionate; and they know how to win. And in addition, they are approachable, charismatic and highly promotable athletes and role models. We hope they will continue to play an integral and highly valued role in professional tennis. " ATP Chairman Etienne de Villiers

I can only wish to be thought of in this manner in my lifetime. With that said, we’ll get ‘em next time!

Suggested watching:

DVD Bryan Brothers’ Greatest Hits Volume 2

Andre Agassi's on-court speech to the crowd after the final match of his pro career, a loss to Benjamin Becker in the third round of the U.S. Open on Sunday, September 3, 2006:

"The scoreboard said I lost today, but what the scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found.

"And over the last 21 years, I have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I've found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed sometimes even in my lowest moments.

"And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams I could have never reached without you.

"Over the last 21 years, I have found you. And I will take you and the memory of you with me for the rest of my life.

"Thank you."

-- The Associated Press