Saturday, April 23, 2011

Believe in Yourself


It was Friday afternoon about two weeks ago and my cell rang while I was at home with my family. I stepped into the bathroom to grab the call as it was from one of my tennis students who was trying out for her high school tennis team as a freshman. Through the sound of fighting off tears she exclaimed "I made the team!"

Through a teary-eyed response I said "Congratulations, I am SO proud of you!"

You have to understand the backdrop of this story in order to appreciate the significance. A few weeks prior she came for our weekly lesson being down on herself. She had told me she went to a clinic and a pro told her that she didn't have enough topspin on her forehand and because of that it wouldn't be likely that she would make her high school team.

I asked her to observe me hitting a forehand. She fed me a ball and I cranked it across the net, fairly low, flat and hard. It was in for a winner. I asked her "Now did THAT have enough topspin?!" She responded, yes because it was in.

"Exactly!" You only need enough spin to keep it in. Everyone has their own amount of topspin I explained. After a confidence boosting lesson I sat down with her afterwards and asked a simple question, "Do you think you will make the team?"

Her answer was something like "I'm not sure, maybe."

In a tone similar to grabbing someone by the shoulders and staring them down, with a look of confidence glaring right through her soul I said "You will make the team." Tell me that as if you mean it. She said "I will make the team," more because I was asking her to rather than from the heart of someone who believed it.

Ok, here's the deal. For your homework please go home and write down by next week "I will make the high school team" one hundred times on a sheet of paper. Can you do that? She said she could. Then I instructed her to do one other thing. Write a press release and post date it as if it already has happened. I explained to her that I did the same thing when I was preparing to set the world record for the longest rally with my brother. "But I've never written a press release." I told her not to worry. I helped her with what it could say but it had to state that she made her high school team. She gave me her word that she would complete her assignments and I knew that she would as she committed to me with sincerity.

Having her buy-in was the key to starting the process of getting her to believe in her goal.

The next week she presented me with her completed assignments, both the sheet of 100 times saying she will make the team and the press release. I was so impressed that her hand writing was so neat. She obviously was meticulous in doing her homework as making the team meant a lot to her. The press release was short and sweet but mainly covered all that it needed to. So then I asked her the million dollar question "Do you NOW believe you'll make the team?" She said, well yes. But do you BELIEVE you will make the team? The hesitation was enough to tell me she didn't believe it yet. You need to keep reading what you wrote until you believe it. That's your last assignment before try outs.

She was definitely an underdog in my opinion in making the team since there is a lot of tennis talent in her city and it was her first time trying out. With that said, my goal with her wasn't to have her make the team....it was to get her to believe that she would make the team.

Everyone has different goals in life. Coaches and teachers should first believe in their student's goals then get them to believe in them themselves. Her making the team was just important to her as me setting a world record for charity.

Remember that BELIEVING in your goals is just as important as setting them.

Suggested Reading:
"What It Takes To Be NUMBER ONE" by Vince Lombardi & Vince Lombardi, Jr.